My list of 7 tips to finding love … because dating as you age is not that simple anymore!

Ladies, why is dating again after a break-up so much harder as we age?

No one deals with heartbreaks the same way. Breaking up with someone you love is simply emotionally cruel and divorce in my opinion is synonymous with a word that rhymes with witch!

Some women get back on the saddle as fast as possible and they start on a road of endless serial dating in order to feel like they are never alone, but yet never allowing themselves to get close enough to anything else so they don’t have to go through all that pain and heartache ever again.

Some women get trapped in the uncertainty of a new relationship and having to get to know someone all over again (you know what I mean … knowing what he likes or dislikes, knowing his habits, knowing what he hates and loves, knowing his family history and drama … etc).

Once you’ve gone through the exercise a few times and if you’re not able to meet someone who is compatible with you or that completes you (yup, that line is straight out of Tom Cruise’s character mouth Jerry McGuire from the movie with the same name), you may be less and less inclined in making the effort to date again and you may start feeling quite comfortable in your new found singleton-state.

If you don’t want to date, then I think that’s perfectly legit and you have all the rights of wanting to spend the rest of your life alone, but if you are being held back by the fear of the unknown and not by the lack of interests in sharing your life with a man again, I think it’s important for you to really evaluate the question and if you do want to date again, but if it’s fear that’s holding you back, you need to “feel the fear and do it anyways”.

Dating in this new world is not easy at all and breaking up is becoming more faceless everyday with people breaking up on post it notes (yup, that’s from Sex and the City), via email or text message or worst via a mySpace or Facebook pages.

I don’t know any women who wants to put herself out there and risk getting hurt, but at the same time, if you don’t put yourself out there … how are you supposed to find the right guy?

I think that when it comes to dating over 35, women have to have a good understanding of a few key things in their lives. The following list in my own personal list of things women over 35 should keep in mind when seeking love in order to avoid mistakes they’ve made in their teens and 20s and to increase your chances of meeting a guy that really will treat you with kindness, respect and love.

My list of 7 tips to finding love after 35:

1) Make sure you know yourself: By the time we hit our mid-30s we should have a good idea of who we are and what we want in life. The more you know who you are and the more you know what you are not willing to settle for, the more you’ll increase your chances of find someone who’s really worth it.

2) Be patient! It’s going to take a number of date before you find THE guy … it won’t happen overnight.

3) Don’t compromise your values or your family: I think that many times some women get to a point in their lives where desperation sets in they sometimes compromise their values or what they believe in for a guy and they in some cases put their families in arms way in order not to be alone.

4) Who’d want to date me?: I’ve heard so many women say that. When you think like that, you aren’t putting yourself in a position to find anyone and you’re not putting yourself in a position to find someone of value.

5) Don’t let age be a factor: Don’t say or think things like: “at my age, this is as good as it gets because my choices are limited”. This is really should never come to mind because you are setting yourself to end up with a guy who is not worth it.

6) Do you want to be with him or do you not want to be alone: A person I know was dating this man who really wasn’t all that great. Everyone knew it and people around her had told her so much. I once asked her why at only 37 she was willing to be with someone unless she was 100% sure this was the right guy for her that she really loved him (everything about him) and she responded that she knew he wasn’t perfect and that there were things about him that drove her mad, but she was tired of being alone, cooking for one and going to movies by herself. She was willing to be with a man who wasn’t’ all that great in order to avoid being alone.

7) Don’t be afraid of getting some help: Since our lives are so much busier now than ever before, it means that we aren’t socializing in the same way we had in past generations. If the bar is not your scene and the idea of your aunt setting you on another blind date makes you cringe, you might consider hiring the services of a matchmaker. It’s true their services don’t come cheap, but they will match you with someone who is compatible to you. If matchmaking is too high of a financial commitment for you, consider online dating sites. Online dating sites have been quite successful for a number of people who have tried them and in some cases those hook ups ended in marriage and a family.

>>>>>> Other online dating resources for women over 35:

1) Free guide to successful online dating by Cupid Guide (this guide is offered to American, Canadian and British readers).

2) Find that special someone even if you are over 30

3) Over 40? Single? Still looking?

4) Seeking Marriage: for those who are ready to settle down and get married

5) Are you over 50 and looking for someone?

6) iSingles.co.uk

7) Big Beautiful Women Dating

#8) Single Christians in your area are looking for you

9) Christian Café (for Canadians and Americans)

10) Meet Single Christians

Photo by by HAMED MASOUMI